Wednesday, December 5, 2007

The 'she owes me' thing...

Ok this is a bit serious, and perhaps strange coming from me.

A friend got dumped recently and talking to him was a strange experience. He kept listing down all the things that he had done for the girl. He kept harping about how how she could have dumped him.

Now I beg to differ here.

I think no one does anything for anyone in a relationship. You do the things you do because of how doing those things makes you feel. Nothing less, nothing more. In the throes of the honeymoon period of a relationship doing things for the other person, the smile it brings to her face makes you feel so good that you'd go out of your way to do those things.

But when bitterness sets in, that fact should not be forgotten. You still did those things for your own happiness and no one owes you anything for what you've done for her. And its just cheap thinking that someone can "owe" you love/friendship.

And anyway would you want a relationship based on "owing" and "obligations" and "gratefulness" ? I think not.

Sorry for the serious-ish tone. Will write a funny, mindless post soon to compensate for this...


raindrops said...

Instantaneously, i felt atleast sum practical people do exist in this world, but on pondering for a while nayyy..i differ sumwhere. Relationships can't be put into straightjacket rules and logics, does'nt work that way!! Being selfish, is actally not an antagonist to being selfless, both do coexist. But yes, relationships don't thrive for long on obligations by 'others'.... so she does'nt owe in that way. But u still deserve an answer for being dumped!!

Swapnil said...

Its true that linear rules of logic do not apply here. And Selfishness and selflessness coexist (nicely put by you :) ).
But as soon as one starts treating it as a transaction, the relationship should be over.

And don't you think that the way he thinks (businesslike) is sufficient grounds for him to get dumped?

(Thank God he doesn't know abt my blog :) )

raindrops said...

well, really don't knw the context of this r'ship (seems like u wanted him 2 be dumped, for his well being!!) but truly its certainly not abt being calculative n absolute... uncertainity has its own beauty!

Swapnil said...

hmmm atleast we agree that calculativeness is a no-no. :)