Sunday, April 3, 2011

Economics of Two Timing!...

I heard this story yesterday (yes, the day India won the World Cup, YAYYYY!!!!) and I just have to share this. I visualize this in my head and I split up in guffaws!

So I'll narrate the story as it was narrated to me.

Before that, a background.

This story comes from the experiences of H, and this is an incident during his college days.

So H had a friend, lets call him A, who was one of those dark brooding kinds that women find fascinating. Throughout first year of college he focused so much on his brooding persona that he never seems to have even spoken to any girl in his college (or maybe he was just shy). And this 'air of mystery' that he developed around him seems to have worked as he was accosted (?) by one of his classmates, lets call her C (why not B, an observant observer may ask. Hang on, that's part of this story, the handsome and mysterious chronicler of this blog will reply). This lady was one of those cute, bubbly, gregarious ones. This coming together of two opposites seemed like a romantic-comedy cosmic inevitable serendipity.

That's what A thought.

C, on the other hand, was a bit of a player. She was totting up A on her scoreboard. A scoreboard which at any given time seemed to have at least two cosmic serendipitous liaisons happening.

Some friends of A tried to warn him (not H, he's more of a live and let live guy. Doesn't interfere too much in anyone's business). And this led to incidents like brawls in the streets with A defending the honour of his cosmic partner, smoke and talk free days between A and his well-meaning friends.

C was also a big gift giver. One of those 'cute' gift givers who always 'thought of you when I was shopping and got you this'. The kind that dark, mysterious brooders can never resist. I mean come on, everyone likes getting gifts, give us a break!

So A's house was getting filled with cute little gifts, a pink teddy bear (gulp, yes, pink. The depths a mysterious brooder falls) here, a little bookmark there. He was in heaven when something happened that pushed him even further up into seventh heaven. He received a letter, an actual handwritten letter, 36 pages long from C. Oh,the joy! This was it, he had found his soul mate!

But then somehow C started spending lesser time with him and seemed 'busy' on many occasions. The evil green monster started raising its ugly head as ominous warnings given by his (few remaining) friends started to seem a bit true.

And then (and things were unclear in the story here - i think some unethical hacking was resorted to out here), he 'accidentally' logged into her email account and discovered the presence of B in C's life! (I told you B would make an entry!)

Distraught and dejected he realized that C was not the perfect angel he believed. He saw that this was going on for a while and in a truly selfless act, he decided to warn B of the nefarious C.

So he wrote him an email and received an astounding response - 'How can you say such horrible things about the sweetest angel on this earth? You loser, I'm sure you tried your luck with her and you're just trying to malign her name after she rejected you. She obviously picked a better man (me). So stay out of her and my life... If you know what's good for you.'

This stunned A. And a harmless brooder decided that enough was enough and he'll show this guy.

So that evening saw H on his bike with A riding pillion with two huge bags of all the gifts that C had given him. And the Pièce de résistance, the 36 page letter! They were going to B's house to show him all this and to drill the truth about C in his head.

So A reaches the house and rings the bell. B opens the door.

(think of the Good, bad, ugly signature tune here)

After locking stares with B for a while, A gently glances around and what's the first thing he sees?

A teddy bear exactly like the one C had given him adorning the side table which also had a book that (presumably) B was reading - with the exact same bookmark that C had given him!

All the gifts that C had given him were replicated in B's house as well!

C used to buy her 'boyfriend' gifts in bulk!!

Now that's what I call economies of scale!


The Shadow Lines by Amitav Ghosh