Saturday, April 17, 2010

Lurrve Incidents!...

Sometimes you hear such unexpected stories from unexpected sources in unexpected situations that it's quite cool.

Now I'm a very sympathetic listener (if I like or am indifferent to the speaker. If I don't like him/her I'm extremely judgmental, irritable and short. Just a friendly warning) and a good secret keeper and thus end up having a lot of friends sharing their deepest, darkest secrets to me. Also, I surreptitiously enjoy playing shrink and thus I kinda like this state of affairs.

But this post is not about that. And being a secret-keeper-extraordinaire you certainly can't expect me to put stories of people I know up on this blog (D-uh). This is about two weird situations I heard of in strange circumstances. I heard one of them just yesterday and was immediately reminded of the first one.

Circa 2005
2 am

Full masala story

(Can you please imagine the above coordinates appearing letter by letter on the bottom left corner of your screen with a typing sound in the background? Thanks)

I was returning from AG's place in Pune and had just got off the bus at Dadar. I took an auto from there to my hotel in Santa Cruz.

And I have to describe the auto. It was a jazzy thing with blue light streaming inside and outside it. Lots of plastic decorations around the multiple Shahrukh Khan and Hrithik Roshan pictures pasted all over. The biggest decoration for the auto though, was it's driver. A young guy in a open collar uniform shirt which was thrown back, a couple of buttons open showing off multiple black thread lockets. The kind of guy who comes to Mumbai to become a film star. The kind of guy who would have a Rajnikanth hairstyle were he in South India. Out there he had to make to with a rather faded Shahrukh Khan one.

We (he) started talking and within five minutes the conversation turned towards the GIRL in his life. Most people may be subtle while talking about their girlfriend to a stranger. But this guy, no way! He lived his life on full volume and spoke about her in the same way.

"Bhaiyya, woh bahut acchi hai, sundar hai, XYZ school mein teacher hai."

[She's very nice, pretty. She's a teacher at XYZ school]

And the coup de grace:

"Bhaiyya, main uske liye jaan bhi de sakta hun!"

[Brother, I can sacrifice my life for her!]

And because I gave him the sympathetic ear (at 2 am!) I heard his entire story. How he met her, how he used to reach her school so he could ferry her to her house. How they fell for each other.

And then the parents came into the picture. And there was conflict as both sets of parents didn't approve. But they stood by each other and fought all four parents and have convinced them now. And that he was collecting money so that he could buy his auto and then get married.

Full masala story. And yes, I gave him some extra money to go in his nest egg for the future. After all, I've been raised on these filmi love story romantic movies and want my hero and heroine to live happily ever after. Doesn't the romantic in everyone wants to see such stories succeed?

And you know the best part I like about this story - there were no complications between the girl and the guy at all. They knew right from the beginning that they wanted to be with each other. That's such a cool thing to have and something I don't think i've ever experienced on account of being too logical :(

CIRCA 2010

A rather cute problem

As you know I have some personal strife going on right now. I have been forced by circumstances and an over eager flatmate to hunt for either a new flatmate or to get a new house. (about that. What kind of readers are you? Except one friend who put my heartfelt request a couple of blog posts ago on Twitter, none of you gave any leads at all! Horrible).

So anyway, I am currently meeting these real estate brokers who take you around to properties which are to be let out for rent. I met one such broker a couple of days back and then again yesterday.

He's actually a college student studying for his engineering degree. He also helps out his brother in this business.

And he has a problem.

Guy: "Bhaiyya, aapke paas bhi Sony Ericsson phone hai na?"
[You have a Sony Ericsson phone as well, right?]

Swapnil: "Yes"

Guy (with a pleading look in his eyes]: "Aapko pata hai ki mera phone lock kaise karte hain?"
[Do you know how to lock my phone?]

Swapnil (knowing wry smile): "Kyun? Girlfriend ke messages chhupaane hain?"
[Why? You want to hide your girlfriend's messages?]

Guy (glad to find some understanding): "Haan Bhaiyya, mere gharwaale mere phone ko chhedte rehte hain!"

[Yes, my family keeps fiddling with my phone!"

Apparently, his brother fiddles with his cell phone and ends up reading his, umm, private messages! (And yes, this is a common problem. When will they finally learn that reading someone's messages is akin to opening someones letters in their generation. You just should NOT do that!)

So we left the house hunting for some time while I went through the settings in the phone trying to find the lock which would prevent his brother's prying eyes and derisive humour. But the phone does not have such a lock!

Come to think of it, even my cell phone doesn't have a phone lock feature. Do Sony-Ericsson phones not have this feature? Help, somebody! We should all rally around to help him!


Monday, April 12, 2010


Is it just me or do you also get distracted by the sub-titles that most movies shown on Star Movies, HBO etc. seem to have nowadays?

I mean, I was just flicking through one of the most intense scenes of The Dark Knight, a scene which had really moved me when I saw the movie in a theatre, and all I was trying to do was to somehow, just somehow, focus on the acting and expressions rather than just flicking to the sub-titles before they were delivered.

This practice means that I end up reading the dialogues sans any intonation, pause or intensity. Jokes lose their punchlines, sinister mobsters' threats become comical and heady romantic lines look corny and teenager-ish. And it's nearly impossible to prevent the eyes from just moving to the subtitles. They move with every frame and the eyes are just drawn to them.

I have mixed views about the sub-titles. I don't like them, at the same time I do because whatever one says, there is always some character with a strange voice and accent in every movie whose dialogues you just cannot understand. (By the way, I'm sure there is some sentence construction fault in the previous sentence. Please feel free to let me know how that sentence should've been constructed). And that's where such sub-titles help.

Anyway, I guess I'll just have to learn to live with it.

Saw 'Wanted' the Hindi movie last night. Must say I really enjoyed it. Especially some dialogues which had so much double meaning and sexual innuendo possibilities that I was rolling on the floor.

Also saw 'Stanley and Iris'. Very, very nice, gentle movie. A simple story told extremely well. Robert De Niro and Jane Fonda are just fantastic in the movie. And such poignant scenes. So little said, yet so much said with simple gestures and subtle expressions. Highly recommended.


Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Payback Time...

I've always kept you laughing, right?

Ok, maybe some of the posts may not have been traditionally funny, but I've made the effort.

Even the serious posts were thought provoking and interesting, right?

Well it's payback time!

I'm looking for a flatmate as PS is getting married and moving out. And here's where you, the loyal readers, come into the picture.

So if you're a guy looking for a place to stay (nothing against girls but they'd expect me to keep the house too clean) do let me know.

Or, if you can put up the following ad at your workplace for people to reach out to me, please do so:


Looking for a male flatmate in National Games Village, Koramangla for a 2BHK.


**Spacious 1st floor flat, large bedrooms and two balconies
**Peaceful, secure locality
**Only two people will be sharing the flat
**All basic systems in place - Internet, TV, functional kitchen, maid, cook, car cleaner, ironing
**Good, non-interfering landlord not staying close by
**2 bathrooms with geysers

Rent: 8150 per head ( 7350 + 800 (maintenance))
Advance: 70K

If interested, please write to
Mobile: 9986006266

All help will be highly appreciated and acknowledged in golden words on this blog apart from undying affection and respect for the help-er